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Abandon All Hope

Abandon All Hope

This is the first and last time you'll ever see Mama Mia menti1d in LWLies.

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In the least inspiring news of the year, Mama Mia has broken the UK film box office record, taking in a disgusting £69.05m at cinemas since its release.

Let me just reiterate that. In the midst of a recession, more people have handed over their hard-earned cash than ever before, to see a film with the artistic merit of a brick, and which is about as enjoyable as being repeatedly hit in the face by one.

And unfortunately, if Hollywood can be relied upon for anything, it’s that it will cash-in with a sequel or four.

The solution? I suggest that the Mama Mia DVD should be laced with chemicals which would effectively neuter anyone buying it. Hopefully this might prevent such a travesty from ever happening again.

Harsh? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely.

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Comments (14)

  • Sorry! But some of us enjoyed Mama Mia and came out with a smile on our faces! Does’nt mean to say that we can’t enjoy some saccarine froth every now and then! Probably a chick flick more than a macho techno fest, popular does not necessarily mean bad and as 50 % of the population are women and Pierce Brosnan is highly acceptable to us all, bring on Sequel 4 et al.

    Written by Maggie J on December 19th, 2008 at 19:53

  • It’s just a shame that this outsold everything else in the year by such a huge margin. There were so many more worthy films that people could see, and spend thier money on. Which would then encourage sponsors to invest in a wider variety of films rather than repetitive sequels.

    Written by Daniel Bennett on December 20th, 2008 at 11:14

  • Mamma Mia was a trashy enjoyable romp and it’s most likely because of the recession hit times that it became such a massive hit.

    People want escapism and quite frankly the best films of the year (Hunger, Waltz With Bashir, No Country For Old Men etc) were not exactly light entertainment.

    I’m not quite sure why this film makes you so angry – your argument about sequels is daft, this wasn’t a sequel!

    Here’s a handy list of shit films from 2008 you SHOULD be getting all het up about…

    Sex and the City
    Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?
    Funny Games
    X-Files
    Four Christmases
    The Bucket List

    The worst? Rambo. Massively violent and racist… Give me Abba over that anyday.

    Written by Jenny on December 20th, 2008 at 11:35

  • Christmas time and I’m thinking about Christmas number ones (music). That X Factor girl got it this year, but recently we’ve had Westlife, Spice Girls, Bob the Builder, Shayne Ward(????) and Girls Aloud. All of these songs have a claim to the “trashy but enjoyable” tag, but doesn’t it just break you heart? That of all the good music around that people could buy – that’s sitting in record stores ready to be taken home – that people are buying music with no emotion and no soul.

    Same thing with Mama Mia. It may well be trashy and fun, but it’s still shit compared what else is available.

    Written by Billy on December 23rd, 2008 at 11:28

  • I personally think it’s a shame that this film is still getting kicked in it’s side. I in fact am happy it has got the status of being the hit it is… in fact, I bought the DVD when it came out!
    The story is trash, utter rubbish. The acting is usually quite blah but Streep, Walters and Seyfried actually did pretty well.
    The music was the main event, despite ABBA not being everyone’s choice music, mine included, there was nothing you could do but smile at this film.
    Of course there was better films, there were always going to be- this wasn’t part of the competition but sometimes, it’s the heavy storyline and drama which don’t have the best outcome because people just want to laugh and smile sometimes.
    Everyone included in this film looked like they enjoyed it and most people liked it.

    Written by Oliver on December 23rd, 2008 at 16:27

  • So Billy – you agree Mamma Mia is trashy and fun but still shouldn’t be popular? Why exactly? Because there are ‘better’ films out there? So I should be watching Citizen Kane and not enjoying Mamma Mia with the whole family this Xmas? LIGHTEN UP! JEEEEZ :-p

    Written by Jenny on December 28th, 2008 at 21:23

  • Little White Lies should stop being so bloody po-faced and let it’s hair down once in a while.

    Did you forget that movies can sometimes just be FUN.

    Written by Angry White Female on December 28th, 2008 at 21:27

  • When and where did you see this film, Daniel B?

    Written by Graham on December 29th, 2008 at 11:41

  • Answer: He hasn’t.

    Written by Angry White Female on December 29th, 2008 at 16:50

  • You don’t think it’s sad that Mama Mia is the best selling film at the UK box office? I have seen it. It’s trashy and fun, but there have been a hundred better films this year alone. I just think it’s a shame that of all the good stuff available across the country this is what most people wanted to see. It aint that good.

    Written by Billy on December 29th, 2008 at 17:13

  • On the release of ‘Mamma Mia’ I made it my mission to write a list of all the things I would rather do than watch the film. After toiling night and day on the list, being fired from my job and losing my family I have decided to abandon the list and have realised that there is really no prospect so harrowing that if I had to choose between it and ‘Mamma Mia’ I would side with the latter.

    If you are reading this Sonia, James or Charlotte, it’s okay, it’s all over now, you can come home again.

    Written by Not a real pirate on December 31st, 2008 at 23:37

  • Here’s the thing, guys… we’re cineastes. Or, at least, I assume we are if we read LWLies. As a result of this, no matter our gender or race or sexual disposition, by virtue of our filmic tastes, we are probably not going to appreciate ‘Mamma Mia’ in any way, shape or form. We are not going to want to see it, because no matter how popular it is, it just isn’t on our radar. That’s fine.

    At the same time, we have to be willing to accept that this kind of film is going to be very popular with a lot of people. The people who saw the stage show. People who like Abba. People who like Meryl Streep. People who like musicals. People who don’t necessarily want to think about a film when they are watching it. We don’t have to like these films, but we do have to respect that some people want to see them otherwise we risk turning into vitriolic trolls.

    I can proudly admit the following: I have not seen ‘Mamma Mia.’ I am disappointed that it is now the highest grossing film of all time in the UK. I have no desire to see this film, nor do I particularly appreciate the music of Abba. But in spite of my dislike for films of this variety (and the term ‘this variety’ encompasses so many things I do absolutely dislike that this film represents) I will defend to the end the absolute right for this film to exist.

    So come on guys, get off your high horses. You can be disappointed in this news and dislike the film, but let’s not pretend that you’re crying yourselves to sleep. The existence of ‘Mamma Mia’ doesn’t detract from the other fantastic films that were released in the UK in 2008, even if they didn’t make as much money.

    Written by JW Smith on January 4th, 2009 at 00:07

  • No reply as yet from Mr Bennett regarding whether he has actually seen the film…

    Written by Zuko on January 4th, 2009 at 17:15

  • I recently watched Mamma Mia on DVD (not by choice!) and having read this blog a certain name jumped out at me from the credits under the list of backup dancers….

    Daniel Lawrence Bennett.

    Could it be that LWL’s own Daniel Bennett resents Mamma Mia so much because he would have preferred a larger part?

    The truth is out there….

    Written by Columbo on January 7th, 2009 at 12:16

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