This fart-inclined Twilight parody is utter guff.
If the purpose of a film's title is to reflect and advertise its content, then Breaking Wind is aptly named, delivering exactly what it says on the tin. In the prologue, a character, bitten by vampires, farts loudly before apologising to a bystander.
Once the story proper gets under way, those characters who do not let rip once do so multiple times, often commenting at length on the odour and texture of their emissions. Danny Trejo, in a truly thankless cameo, gets not just to fart but to "shart" – and no less loudly than anyone else.
The film's climax involves the day being saved by an act of epic flatulence: a pregnancy in the final scenes turns out to be just "a really bad case of the shits", and a post-credits coda directly reprises the fart of the prologue, in what must be cinema's first case of gas ring composition. In short, Breaking Wind stinks. A lot.
That is not, however, the only way in which this film's title proves to be painfully honest. For if Breaking Wind turns out to be a rather forced pun on Breaking Dawn, then the whole relationship between the Twilight franchise and writer/director Craig Moss' travesty is similarly tenuous.
Moss may prey vampirically on (chiefly) the plot of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse for the overall narrative shape of his film, but instead of offering any biting insights into the whole Bella/Edward coupling, he just randomly inserts cheap grossout humour and irrelevant pop culture references (with unfunny parodies of Johnny Depp movies, Paranormal Activity and Avatar proving especially gratuitous and grating), hoping in vain that if he hurls enough shit at the screen, eventually something might stick.
About the closest that this spoof gets to actually engaging with and desconstructing its source material is the suggestion that all these teen characters (aside form Edward) are a lot more sexually active than their veneer of Mormon-esque abstinence and respectability would suggest.
But, like every 'joke' here, that suggestion is played with such bludgeoning repetition that any hint of a smile is quickly hammered from the viewer's face.
Fart jokes can, of course, be funny, especially to the very young. But while under-eights alone might not quickly tire of the veritable carpet-bombing of flatus and associated blowback on offer here, the endless (and often explicit) sex gags are less suited to their particular demographic.
In fact the real target audience of Breaking Wind is the army of 'Twi-hards' to whom the film expressly dedicates itself in its closing credits. Yet no matter how questionable the taste of these emo adolescents, they are almost certainly above this. They deserve better.
It is entirely possible to pastiche the vampire genre with affection and intelligence, as The Fearless Vampire Killers and Love At First Bite have shown. While a genuinely charming and inventive film like Emily Hagins' no-budget My Sucky Teen Romance is destined to be seen only at festivals, we get execrable excrement like this or Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer's Vampires Suck, unleashed into cinemas.
Perhaps the Twilight Saga is just the film industry's artistic equivalent of a fart in the face (although try telling that to its legions of appreciative fans), but there is far less talent and far more predatory cynicism to be found in Moss' parasitic pastiche.
Best not to let it feed on your desire for all things Twilight-related, but rather to leave it to rot away, unseen in the dark. An actual fart is infinitely more satisfying and thankfully shorter in duration.
Spoofs suck – but at least it's not by Friedberg and Seltzer.
[insert fart gag here]