Bella (Kirsten Stewart) is the ultimate angst-ridden American teenager; so much so that biting her lip seems to have manifested into a full-on facial tick. While Edward (Robert Pattinson of Harry Potter fame) has managed to avoid discovery for years despite having the pallor of a mime, noticeable fangs and a tendency to disappear at the first sign of sunlight.
Adapted from the first novel of four by Stephenie Meyer, Twilight follows Bella’s new life with her divorced father and her eventual infatuation with the ‘mysterious’ Edward. From Bella’s obnoxiously caricatured class mates to her divorced family, director Catherine Hardwicke hurls cliché after frustrating cliché at the screen hoping to strike a chord with those people in the audience who don’t already know the novel off by heart (the ones who aren't 13-years-old and female). As the film gets into full swing, these clichés are replaced with sparse action scenes with special effects that wouldn’t be amiss in an episode of the Six Million Dollar Man.
This almost gives Twilight and endearing sense of naivety. But in the end it isn’t enough to redeem a fatuous experience.
Vampire meets girl. Vampire loves girl. Sound familiar?
Please let vampire kill girl.
Sets a poor tone that will no doubt be continued in the sequels.